Strange Brokeness

So this morning I had read all my email and Facebook, ate breakfast, fed the dog, and made some coffee.  I was thinking about what I wanted to write but, having a bit of a headache, I decided to turn on HGTV and watch Disaster DIY – a show where friends or family, of someone who has attempted to do a project that has gone awry, call the show to get some help. 

Bryan Baeumler is the host and an older Russian lady named Gabby, the DIYer, that has failed in creating the backyard space she’d hope to create. Gabby’s daughter had called Bryan because Gabby had attempted to put up a fence not really knowing how to do it.  Over the years, many of the sections had to be held in place by coat hangers… it was a disaster.  The backyard was over grown with weeds and the patio was in disrepair. The project to Gabby – overwhelming.

As Bryan and her go through ‘her efforts’ of building that backyard retreat, he pushes hard on the fence to show that it needs repair and is not installed properly. What was funny to the viewer, was that every time he did it, she’d say “don’t do that”, “don’t do that” – seemingly said so as to not make it worse.

Finally, they agree that the fence needs replacing – so he gets started by crashing through it with a Bobcat. Gabby stands there. In shock as her countenance falls. It is obvious that Gabby’s heart is broken – all the years of ‘her efforts’, the years of gluing, pasting, wiring – holding onto the hope that this will get better; was being torn away.  This, along with the lack of vision as to where things were going, made tears well up in her eyes.  She said, “I felt anxious… I can’t really explain what I feel.”

Yup…

Don’t we respond to God’s working with us the same way?

Lord, I’m comfortable with this bitterness or fear or being the victim or this area of sin in my life – it works for me – see…, but out of love He comes in and the struggle starts in our hearts, as He tosses out the stuff that we’ve propped up and dressed up to make it work. We can’t even explain what we feel.

Why does our Father do that? Because He doesn’t want us to be stuck. 

So we mourn for the loss of those things we’re loosing because they’ve become comfortable to us – we’ve lived with the stench so long, we don’t even notice it and worse yet, it has become normal to us.

Secondly, we don’t see what God is trying to do and so we mourn all the more; not only for the loss, but because we fear, “What now?”  Who am I without the bitterness, fear, victimization or sin… We don’t know and we’re scared. Finally we come to terms with the loss of those things, that were never good for us anyway, to only realize that the new us was to be better all along. And we wonder why we waited so long to let Him do it.

As the show progresses, Gabby, jumps in and helps and closes the show out with her wonderful smile and enjoying the work that had been done.  Never even recalling what it had been like before, but now resting in the Joy that was in the moment when the work was done.  That’s the part I like the best with the Lord… Saying, “Yup… this too is good!”

Father, thanks for loving us the way you do! Increase our faith so we don’t struggle against what you are trying to do, knowing that you desire our best.

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